Ah yes. There it is.

The nausea has set in. Dammit, dammit, dammit.

Up until now, I've felt fine. Sure, I'm tired, my boobs hurt, and I pee a lot, but that's been the extent of my symptoms to date. Until today. Brushing my teeth before work this morning, I was positive I was going to be sick. Gagging, coughing, the whole bit. Thankfully it didn't amount to anything, or I would have been late for sure. However, the yucky feeling has lasted all day. I've had no appetite at all, and the cabbage casserole I served my preschoolers for lunch just about made me throw up right then and there. Ugh.

Now I've had some ginger-ale, a few bits or leftover chicken, and I'm working on some applesauce. I really, really hope today was  a fluke. Cause I so cannot deal with feeling like this for the next several weeks.

I want them all.

M thinks I'm completely nuts, but I have my heart set on cloth diapering. They're green, cheap, and so flippin cute I could scream. Right now I'm obsessing over gDiapers. I really like the fact that you can get either cloth or disposable liners, and they come in such cute colours! And I love that they aren't giant plastic pants. I'm dying to start stocking up, but I'm making myself wait till 12 weeks to buy any. Till then, I'm drooling over all the cute styles and researching cloth diapers like a crazy woman.

Oh my eff am I tired.

Seriously. I am so tired I feel like I could just fall asleep at the blink of an eye. I always laugh when I see articles for pregnant women that suggest they "take a small nap at their desk when needed". This has always seemed so ridiculous to me. I mean, come on. You still have to do your job, whether you're knocked up or not. You can't just be falling asleep at will.

Now, though, it's not sounding like such a bad idea. All I need is a desk job. I have a feeling my supervisor would not be at all impressed if I nodded off in my preschool classroom.

I had my first appointment on Monday, which was incredibly anticlimactic. Just sat and chatted with the nurse practitioner that I see, and she wrote up a script for me to get some bloodwork done. She's also going to book an ultrasound for me in the next few weeks. I think it'll all feel more real once I get to at least hear a heartbeat. Right now all I have to tell me I'm pregnant is the fact that I'm 28 dpo and my boobs are effing killing me (and my +hpt, obv). The boobs. Oh my Lord, the boobs. I thought they hurt during the 2WW. HA! I had no idea what I was in for. Even laying in bed hurts. I'm seriously considering buying a sports bra to sleep in. Owww.

Our baby is going to be terrifying.

I really should stay away from the baby maker sites.

Is This Real Life?

So because I am a ridiculous over-thinker, by Sunday night I had convinced myself that the little light line on my Wondfo was an evap line and I wasn't really pregnant at all. Then when I looked at it again before I went to bed, the line had faded around the edges, which really didn't help matters in my mind. M and I had gone grocery shopping Sunday afternoon and I picked up a couple of FRERs to take on Monday, but I honestly was half expecting to see a temp drop Monday morning. Like I said, I am a crazy over-thinker.

Look at those lovely dark lines! Two of them! This is really real! This time the second line showed up in a millisecond. Of course then I ran to the bedroom, shoved the pee stick in M's face, and screamed "Look! They're darker today! Look!". He was not impressed with that wake up call. Evidently he had not convinced himself overnight that we weren't pregnant.


We spent yesterday wandering around a little tourist town about an hour from us (where I made M look at every single baby item we found), then back to our town for a restaurant dinner and fireworks. It was a good day.

Today I booked my first appointment with my family doctor.  The receptionist was super nice and it was great to be able to talk to someone other than M about it! She did take me a little by surprise when I told her we had been trying for 8 cycles and she went "Oh, so not long at all!". Seriously? I mean, I know it's not as long as a lot of people, but it's felt like for effing ever.

So now I just have to get through the next little while before telling my mum or best friend. I may burst.

Oh. Em. Effing. Gee.

Pregnant. Knocked up. With child. Preggeriffic. Preggly? Yep, that's me!

I'm still having a hard time believing it's real. I am so effing excited, but also scared to death. And, true to form, over-analyzing every singly twinge I feel. I may make myself completely crazy by the time this baby comes! I bought two FRERs to take tomorrow and the next day, and of course I'll keep temping to keep an eye on things. As of this moment, I am cautious, but optimistic. Our EDD is March 12, which is pretty awesome. My dad was from Ireland, so a St Paddy's Day baby would be so special.

I so hope this is it.

Worst. Blog. Ever.

I know, I know. I'm a terrible blogger. I've been busy, ok? Clearly I'm never going to make a living off blogging. Dammit.

Quick recap of the past few weeks...

My sister in law got married. I went shot for shot with the groomsmen, cause I like to think I can play with the big kids. Missed my husbands birthday brunch the next day cause I couldn't stop puking. Why can't I learn that I can't drink that much tequila?! The sad thing is  M (hubby) was way more drunk than I was, and he felt fine the next day. Not fair at all.

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My crazy aunts and I participated in Relay for Life for our 10th straight year. It was a different location than we usually go to and wasn't nearly as well run as our usual Relay, but we still had a fantastic time walking, eating, laughing, talking, walking, dancing, giggling hysterically, and walking some more. I guarantee anyone who sees us at these events has to think we are drunk out of our minds. Around 3am we are just so deliriously tired that absolutely everything is funny, and we get laughing to the point that we aren;t making any noise and can't even stand up anymore. It's not uncommon to find 3 or four of us spread out along the track, sitting down and laughing like mute hyenas. We get a lot of strange stares, and there are always at least a few people who ask if they can join our family. I love them all.

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I went to a big reunion weekend at the summer camp that was my second home growing up. Seriously, I love this place so much. I started going there the year I was born (they have a parents & tots week) and went for at least a week every summer. I spent the whole summer there when I was 11 since my mum was the cook, and I worked there from when I was 16-20. It was my comfort zone as a kid. I went though a few rough years in school with bullying (I never thought of it as bullying, but now I realize it was), and my self confidence took a huge hit. Going to camp every year was my time. I felt totally comfortable there, I knew the staff and knew they were looking out for me, and I loved that I couldn't just get away from the people I knew at school and be whoever I wanted to. People who know my from camp always find it hilarious that I describe myself as shy and quiet, because that's so not who I am when I'm there. I'm the first to jump in and lead a campfire song, I'll organize all the arts and crafts, and I'll even give sports a go (laughing the whole time at how hopelessly uncoordinated I am).

M and I met at camp when we were campers. We originally were both just going for one week that summer, but after meeting we both saved our pennies to pay for another week together. The next year we both worked there, and though we aren't as involved with it as much as we'd like to be anymore, it's still our place.

So this weekend I went back. I was running the arts and crafts portion of the day with an old friend/camp staff member, which consisted of reconstructing and tie-dying camp shirts. I took my little cousins canoeing for an hour and a half, told old camp stories, slept in a cabin just like the old days, and lead campfire at night. The old staff and I played nighttime hide-and-seek, caught up on gossip, and got our camp fix for the year. Basically I felt 17 again. It was awesome.

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My preschoolers had their graduation yesterday! I am so so so proud of all my monkeys and can't believe they are all off to Kindergarten in September. I've had some of them since they were just toddlers and toilets trained most of them...it's a bittersweet moment to see them go. Some of them will still be here through the summer, so I don't have to say goodbye just yet. I'm glad they aren't all leaving me at once!

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Wow, that was a novel and a half. Kudos to any of you who made it through!